no, i didn't take the "red eye" and other intentional puns

ok, so i don't find as much to blog about as i should, but something freakish happened to my eye, and there's no better blog fodder than that.

so, i wake up friday morning and my eye looks like so:

can anyone say "ew?"

and here's me and everyone else around me - "what the fuck is the matter with your (my) eye?!" and if i have to make another joke about "my boss is tough" or "my boyfriend beat me up, but you should see him!", i'll puke. swear to god. and someone will need to hold my hair back because i don't want to get puke in it.

don't fret imaginary friends, the internet tells me there's nothing to worry about. i bet i still do.

the best advice i received was from my 3-year-old. when she asked what happened to my eye i told her that i probably poked it. and she gave me the most poignant piece of advice i've received in my whole life. she said...


"mommy! don't poke your eye!"


those are just good words to live by.