irritating commercial

i don't watch a whole hell of a lot of tv. mostly disney channel and nickelodeon, but every once in awhile i reclaim the tv (see yesterday's post). and there is this insanely stupid commercial that comes on, so stupid i felt the need to share it.

it's for a local tech school - you know, the place where you can graduate class of march. and there's really nothing wrong with that! it's just a joke, so get over it. moving on... this commercial is filled with people doing X-TREME SPORTS! what in the halibut does that have to do with a certified nursing assistant program, i ask you? abso-freaking-lutely nothing! do people actually look at that commercial and think to themselves "X-TREME sports ROCK! i wanna be a certified nursing assistant!" if they do, then there's probably a reason they're going to the tech school.

that reminds me of an article maddox wrote and you can find it here. if you've never read maddox's stuff, make sure you read a few more articles while you're there. you can thank me later.

i love judge judy

reading my blog is like watching dashboard confessionals isn't it? yeah right. mine are a tad less raunchy than anything you'd see on that show. but whatever. you guys'll take what you can get, right?

anywho, i watch her almost everyday. is it her no-nonsense attitude or general bitchiness that attracts me to the show? no, not entirely, although i do appreciate a good bitch every once in awhile. i watch it because i enjoy the fact that i am not the people on that show. those people are so dumb. for instance, take a case that was on yesterday. the ex-wife was suing the ex-husband because he convinced her to move to NM and he would shortly follow her there. needless to say, he didn't. the thing that got me about that case was not the woman's overwhelming stupidity. it was the fact that the guy made $4100/month and only paid $94/month in child support for their 3 children. no, that was not a typo. $94 per MONTH! what kind of crazy shit is that?

*note to self: never EVER move to Colorado, get married and have children then get divorced because their system is wiggity whack!

growing up is hard to do

ok, i know i'm not that old, and i'm sure some of you reading this will think "this young pup doesn't know what she's talking about!" but sometimes i feel old and sometimes i feel like i just graduated high school, even though that was 11 years ago. damn.

yesterday i got to hang out with some old friends from high school/college. and isn't it funny how all the social barriers (i.e. cliques) that existed in high school go away after awhile, but it doesn't take much to make them come back up again? anyway, that's not what this blog is about.

so i was hanging out with my old friend from high school and college, and we were reminiscing, which is fun to do when you get together with old friends. like the time that we had a little maragrita party and decided in our drunken stupor that it was a good idea to drive home from college at 11:00 at night to kick some girl's ass, who i don't even remember her name. so, we make the 5 hour drive home, get pulled over in phoenix, sleep off our drunkenness at her house, decide it was a bad idea in the first place, and drive back to school. all in less than 24 hours. that was a fun night. or how we used to play monopoly and she always won and i was a sore loser.

and now i'm just old and would never consider driving anywhere at 11:00 at night and i hate monopoly to this day because i'm a spiteful bitch.

but, dang, we had fun.

i was never good at keeping resolutions

i know it's been a week. i got no excuses.

and i also realized i have said very little about "the boy" in relation to "the girl" so i decided to write a little post about him.

this is pete:

he is a silly boy; formerly known as "the boy." as in, going to work in the morning, a typical conversation with cheech may have begun with, "you'll never guess what 'the boy' did last night." but since he's grown up a bit, he's become mommy's little helper. like, when mommy won't get out of bed in the morning (i hate mornings, it's best not to speak to me when i'm just waking up (and i use that term loosely)) he makes himself and his sister cereal. isn't that sweet? my big helper!

recently, i was in one room and the kids in another when i heard a loud crash and "the girl" start crying. so i call to pete. he comes in the room and i ask what happened. he looked at me and he said, "well, see... it's involved..." i still have yet to find out what exactly happened that day.

then another day he came into me and said "mom, we need a 'laser'," complete with little finger ditto marks. (if i need to explain why that's funny, then just stop reading my blog now) he makes his mommy so proud!

now if only i could get him to stop trying to hide under my shirt when he meets new people...

this is what happens when i'm left alone for 3 days

k, so i was bored the past couple of days because my kids were with their dad. so i got this crappy 3D puzzle because i like star wars and i needed something to do. so, here, for your viewing pleasure, is the product of my boredom. a star wars ship thingy.

i am such a geek.

i so rock

dammit

i knew this would happen.

i drew a pig

there's a website that says if i simply draw a pig, they can tell me about my personality. i think they're full of shite.

i'm so glad i gave up on internet dating

or i may have resorted to one of these fellows.

hey fatty-boom-ba-laty

little tid bit about me - i love air supply. (do you still love me, stinky?)

my favoritest chi-chi took me to an air supply concert for my birthday last year and it was soooo fun! we took 2 of our friends and we had a blast sitting in the back and putting on our own little concert for our fellow lawn seat patrons.

since i dearly love air supply i had to have a t-shirt. so i go to the merchandise table and request a lovely white t-shirt that was imprinted with "i'm lost in love" (giggle), size large. the lady behind the table said the shirt displayed was size x-large and it looked like i would expect a large to look, so i said "ok, gimme the XL," to which the bitch behind the table said "are you sure? because i have 2-XL's back here too." yeah, i'll take a 2-XL with a side order of pimp-slap-the-hoe. look, i'm not fat, i'm just big-boned. so, just to spite her, i bought the XL, and ya know what? it fits just fine... so, fuck you stupid air-supply-t-shirt-selling-biotch.

yes, i am slightly obsessive compulsive

but only slightly!


ok, here's my deal. ya know how burger king has star wars toys in their kids meals right now? (if you have a five year old boy, you do) well, um... i need them. i have 5 out of a possible 31 and i am dying here! my set is not complete! and all will not be right with the world until such time as it is.


so, what am i doing today? watching eBay for auctions of the whole set.

it will be mine... oh yes... it will be mine.

as if i needed another reason to be online

so, my boyfriend told me about firefox. i've heard of it, never played with it because i fear change. so, this weekend i finally decided to download it and see what all of the hullabulla is about. oh my gosh. i LOVE it! i'm so addicted. it's way more fun than internet explorer. you can personalize it in so many ways. the past few days i've just been looking through the extensions and adding on. i'm like a kid in a candy shop and i've got a bit of a sugar high.

so, if you don't use firefox, get it. and if you do use it, tell me some cool stuff you've found so i can be cool too.

i am easily entertained...

while surfing the net, i came across this website
and immediately became engrossed.
what can i say? i'm obsessive compulsive and i like the little popping noises it makes. i have a small brain.

we just can't have nice things

i have yet another confession to make:

i am a sloppy eater. i can't get thru a meal without it ending up on my shirt or lap. i guess my mom never taught me to eat right. i like to believe that i have a hole in my bottom lip. i've yet to locate it though.

but i still buy white shirts... why? don't ask me! i like them, i think they look nice on me, and there's nothing classier than a crisp, white shirt. too bad mine don't remain white for very long due to my sloppy eating habits. eh, whatever. i'm a dork, we've already established this.

luckily for all of us, i have passed my sloppy eating techniques onto my daughter. i'll post a pic to demonstrate what i'm talking about. the girl will not just put fork to food and into mouth. she has to spread it all over her plate, the table and, most importantly, herself. *sigh*

i swear my mother cursed me when i was born that i would have a daughter just like myself. see, i was a 10 pound baby and so was my daughter. i used to laugh at my mother when she tried to punish me, and so does my daughter. golly, i'm looking forward to the teenage years... i have a feeling one of us will not survive.

that was a jello pudding snack... before it became conditioner.

the latest news

well, i'm probably not going to be able to start my job on monday because the clearance is still up in the air. i'm trying to not worry too much about it because i'm eating a hole in the lining of my stomach.

but in even bigger news... ummm... i'm in love. and i'm not going to talk about it anymore so that i don't jinx it. but it's great, and i'm super happy! i'll tell you guys about him someday, but for now he's all mine, and i'm not sharing.

this is how i clean

i know it's supposedly "bad" for them, but when i see a spot on a dvd or cd, i lick it and rub it off. they're my dvd's, i'll do what i want with them.

anyway, tonight, my kids put in "willy wonka and the chocolate factory" and it was skipping, so i took it out and inspected it for blemishes. there was a spot, so i licked it. yummy. glue...

so i post this as a reminder to myself... STOP LICKING SPOTS! YOU CAN'T CLEAN EVERYTHING WITH SALIVA!*

*except for contact lenses and children's faces

belated new years resolution

k, so i'm making a resolution in the middle of the year. i'm a big girl and i'll do what i want, so *nyah!*

i resolve to write in my online journal every day, no matter how i'm feeling. it helps me get stuff out and it needs to be done. besides, you all aren't just here to see how cute and witty i am, are you? i thought not.

fact is, i've been feeling pretty worthless lately (ho-hum, woe is me) and just haven't felt like writing much of anything. i even deleted an entry that hopefully only krista saw (thanks, sweetie, for your words of support, btw) because it was soooooo (yeah, with 6 o's! it was that bad.) horribly loathsome.

anyway, thank you malcolm for kicking my ass. i will try to be better; not because you all need it, but because i do.

and, no, i haven't heard anything about the security clearance yet. but i'm fine with it... just fine...

oops...

sorry, i know it's been like a week since i posted. i been trying to get a house, get stuff squared for my new job, etc. plus, i'm just having issues and i haven't felt like being my normal, witty, charming self. i try to reserve my depressed self for other avenues.

today i'm stressing because i have to obtain a government secret clearance (hence the statement "i'd have to kill myself")for my new job and i may not be able to because my finances are currently fucked, and apparently that's not really considered trustworthy. anywho, i have to wait a few days to find out if that's going through. and if it isn't approved, i will have no job. and if i have no job, i can't rightly get into my own house, what with no income.

so anyway, i'm in kinda a self-deprecating mood right now. my life is not completely in my control, i'm out of tequila, i didn't find a house to live in today, i may not actually have a job, and i was in band in high school! band i tell you! (save the "this one time, at band camp..." jokes. i've heard them all before!)