"omg, you killed kenny!"

so, you know how i have the cutest, most smartest kids in the world right? awhile ago pete asked me if he could shorten his name (btw - his real world name is 9 letters long and harder to spell). i said, "hey, ok, what would you like to change it to?"

he replied, "i dunno... kenny?"

makes sense to a gemius. it's not for us to understand. he's on a much higher plane we can't begin to comprehend.

no, i'm not calling him kenny.

blogging at work is fun to do

everyone in my department has left for the day, so i blame this random blog on them. seriously though, i am busy, but i came across this and i thought it was great and i wanted to show you's guys what a dork i am and i didn't want to forget so i'm posting it now:

The 2006 runner-up, Stuart Vasepuru from Scotland, played with one of the most famous pieces of dialogue from the Clint Eastwood movie "Dirty Harry".

"I know what you're thinking, punk," hissed Wordy Harry to his new editor, "you're thinking, 'Did he use six superfluous adjectives or only five?' -- and to tell the truth, I forgot myself in all this excitement; but being as this is English, the most powerful language in the world, whose subtle nuances will blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk?"

that is awesome on so many levels! *sigh* i just love grammar.

my undying appreciation will go to the first person to call me on that horrible run-on sentence i started with.

shrek is evil

have you ever noticed that everyone has a hamster/other small rodent escape story? well, here's mine.

we got him (or her, you can never tell what those little fuckers are. and personally, i don't care. we decided it's a he. end of story.) two weekends ago because pete has been extra responsible and i (albeit, mistakenly) told him that he could have a pet when he displayed the proper amount of responsibility. in hindsight, i should have better defined "proper amount". we were in the mall, the mall had a pet store, the puppies forced me inside, we came out with a hamster. his name is shrek.

i. hate. him.

sunday, i was trying to clean out its cage and the fucker bit me. DREW BLOOD! i'm sure i have hanta virus. then last night, it escaped its freshly cleaned cage. i'm sure it's after me. it got a taste for my blood and now it wants more. we luckily (or not) found it tonight after it ran across my boyfriend's foot. i've decided to let it live.

for now.

fyi

so, i was falling asleep last night and i thought of a totally funny post titled "fyi" and it was going to be short and it was going to be about something i despise. or is gross about me. or something like that. anyway, guess what happened?


i forgot what it was.


but i'm sure it would have been awesome!


lucky you guys get this post instead. you're welcome.


oh wait! i've got something gross about me. sometimes i hold my gut in both hands and shake it at my boyfriend and say "you like that?!"

he won't admit it, but i'm sure he does.

no, i didn't take the "red eye" and other intentional puns

ok, so i don't find as much to blog about as i should, but something freakish happened to my eye, and there's no better blog fodder than that.

so, i wake up friday morning and my eye looks like so:

can anyone say "ew?"

and here's me and everyone else around me - "what the fuck is the matter with your (my) eye?!" and if i have to make another joke about "my boss is tough" or "my boyfriend beat me up, but you should see him!", i'll puke. swear to god. and someone will need to hold my hair back because i don't want to get puke in it.

don't fret imaginary friends, the internet tells me there's nothing to worry about. i bet i still do.

the best advice i received was from my 3-year-old. when she asked what happened to my eye i told her that i probably poked it. and she gave me the most poignant piece of advice i've received in my whole life. she said...


"mommy! don't poke your eye!"


those are just good words to live by.

 

quick story...

just a quick little funny story about a faux pas i pulled last week at work.


i was looking over some paperwork with one of the ladies i work with. since we make blood products, sometimes things happen and we can't use the product, such as contamination. records for a contaminated product are marked as "CONT". we were discussing a record that was marked as "CONT" and when i referenced that remark, i pronounced "CONT" as you would the whole word, but without the "-aminated" part.


let it soak in for a minute and you'll realize i just said my least favorite word... out loud... to my coworker... nice.