we are in a fight.

yup, all of you are now on my shit list. don't pretend that you don't know why... you know what you did... if you don't know, i'm not telling you...

ok fine. take a look at my last post. go ahead. i'll wait.










see that word in the last paragraph? yeah, it's not so much "right" as "write". and i was not so much "right" as "completely fucking retarded". why the hell did no one tell me i did that?! for fuck sake! you'd think you were just reading my blog for entertainment and not picking it over for grammatical errors.

by the way, don't you hate it when you buy a bag of salad and forget about it until a month later and it's all gross and slimy in the bottom of your so-called "crisper" drawer?

yeah, me too.

gift giving tip

you guys know how i hate to judge or complain, but here i go.

the holiday season is the time of giving, as we all know. and when you don't know someone too well, you tend to give them the catch-all. yes, i'm talking about the Gift Card.

this gift is fine and dandy, especially between not-so-close friends or colleagues. but, to coin a cheech phrase, here's my issue with that.

if you are going to give the GC there is absolutely NO SHAME in writing, somewhere on or around it, the amount the GC is for! i received four GCs this year and not one of them indicated the amount the GC was worth. for pete's sake people! i don't want to look like a greedy bitch and be all "hey, not-so-close friend or colleague, exactly how much am i entitled to spend with this lovely GC?" would it hurt so much to put the freaking amount on the fricking GC? heck no! so, i have to go online and check the balances so i don't get up to the register at the GC store and look like a dumbass when my purchase far exceeds the GC amount. and then the ditsy cashier has to be all "ummm, the total is eleventy seven $$" and i have to be all "here's a GC of unknown amount i would like to apply toward my purchase" and she runs the damned thing and is all "ok, now it's like, totally only eleventy $$. how wud u lick 2 pay 4 that?" (and she says it misspelled like that because she's so dumb) i hate that stupid bitch. with her barcode scanner and nametag. she thinks she's so much better than me, but she's not!

all of this because some well-wisher couldn't right the god damn amount on the frickety fracking GC.

/end judgmental complaint/

picture pages with pete

i decided it was time for another installment of drawing fun with pete.

my parents have a lovely, xeriscape, backyard, complete with indigenous desert plants and even a fountain. of course, it's not as lovely as it was before my kids and i lived there for 7 months, but i digress. one of the indigenous plants to the lower sonoran desert is the yucca plant, which my son has drawn for us below:

and just in case you don't know what a yucca is and this graphic representation isn't sufficient, here is an actual yucca:

there is a hole at the base of the yucca in my parents' backyard, graciously dug by their cairn terrier. christian was not buying this story though, and the picture above is his story of what is actually in that hole.

it is, in fact, a demon rabbit hole. said demon rabbit must be killed with rocks that christian will fill the hole up with. if the rabbit is not killed, it will be flushed out by the rocks and then killed by the crazy monster, as a back up plan.

seriously folks. i have no idea where he gets these ideas from. definitely not me. it must be his dad's warped dna that gives him these ideas.


not. mine.

my family, the boy band

i don't know if i've ever told you this before, but i come from a large-ish all girl family. i have 4 sisters: 2 older, 2 younger. 5 siblings in our family... 5 members of N*sync... coincidence? i think not!

let me break it down for you something, yo.

i present N*sync




yuck, huh? personally, i hate them, but the picture is necessary to illustrate my point. we have justin, JC, chris, lance and joey. my sisters and i take on the roles of the boys in this band (and any other boy band for that matter) as follows:

justin: that'd be veryvaried, one of my older sisters. she's "the cute one" who always stood out and took charge (when we let her).

that, and she has permed, frost-tipped hair. hehehe


JC: that'd be oh-so-talented baby sister/member. she's also along the lines of "the cute one," but tends to be the wind beneath our wings. (if you just went "aw, how precious!", i have to say that is so funny because i am so non-sentimental. it was meant as a joke. gotcha!) she doesn't enjoy the spotlight as much as the lead singer, but is cute and talented in her own right.


chris: that's me. i'm the ok-looking, kind of talented sister/member who cracks a joke to bring attention away from the fact that i'm not as cool as the others.


lance: that's my other younger sister. she's the not-completely-with-it sister/member who everyone just nods their head at and smiles with her. and she's in space.


joey: and to our last sister/member, the oldest. seriously, i had no idea what this guy's name was, so i had to google it. that pretty much explains my oldest sister/member. she's way older than the other sister/members and doesn't really fit in the group, but we keep her around because she signed the contract.

there once was a man from nantucket...

i couldn't come up with any catchy title for this completely random posting, so that's what you get. they can't all be funny.

so, i've totally thought about blogging and i've actually got different ideas for posts rattling around in my head. and i've even meant to write them out for your reading pleasure. it just hasn't come to fruition. (don't you just love that word?!) it's the thought that counts anyway, don't you think? yeah, me too.

oh! did i tell you guys that i was soooooo sick the first two weeks of work? like, sicker than i've ever been ever in my entire life? well. maybe not ever ever, but close to it. yeah. it sucked.

despite that, i'm really loving my job. for instance, today, i found a form that we give to people who are going to donate, listing the medications that you can't be on in order to donate. except for it was an old version, and the newer version had an additional medication listed. you can imagine what that meant. you guessed it. a total recall of blood products collected in the time since the new version had come out. scary, huh? but it turned out ok, because this problem had already been resolved by national headquarters and no recall was required. phew! it was so exciting! the suspense was overwhelming! quite the nail-biting day.



you wish you were me...


shut up. you do too!

anywho, i promise to blog more often. i won't promise everyday... or even every week... probably not even every other week... but definitely more often.

and i am even cooler today!

ok, i'm not completely sure that anyone even looks at this anymore since it's been eleventy-seven decades since i last posted. i'm such a loser... but only on the blog-front! on every other front it is divide and conquer! i so completely rule. i'm the coolest person you know right now.

ok, ok, ok, since our last installment of "as valerie turns" - i've moved into my new place, kids have started school and daycare and i got a completely different (by different, i mean entirely better, and by entirely better, i mean pays substantially more) job then the one i moved up here for! yahoo for me! i am now working for the american red cross blood services doing what i do best - looking at other people's work and telling them what they did wrong! my favorite!

oh, and you remember my wunnerful son pete? he's a gemius. yup, gemius. his teacher here thinks he's sooooo smart that she wants to have him tested for the smart kid class.

and the girl is my beautiful, 3 year old cinderelly. she's going to her new daycare and is getting to the point of actually liking it. who knew she'd actually have a hard time without older brother around? go figure.

and did i mention i have my own stuff back? all of my towels and pans and books and cds and everything! it makes me happy to be a woman.

so, that's my excuse for being a lazy-ass blogger. for anyone who still looks over here anyway. and if you are, thanks for checking in on me!

i am so cool right now

yay for me! everyone celebrate because as of today, i am officially employed! this weekend i'm moving out of my parents house and going to live in my own house with my own stuff and sleep in my own bed. YIPEE YAHOO!!!

excuse me because now i have to go do the happy happy joy joy dance.

oh, sidenote before i leave. thanks to those of you reading this who went out on a limb and gave me a reference when you weren't supposed to. if you lose your jobs, you can come live with me in my tiny house because i'll be employed!

my family's rite of passage

yesterday, pete and the girl were introduced to the beloved and often misunderstood, peanut butter and pickle sammich. yes, regular smooth peanut butter and dill pickles. i will say this once and once only!

- don't knock it till you try it! -

they are super nummy tasty goodness and if you have never eaten one, you most definitely should before you leave this earth.

you may be saying "ew! no one in their right minds would eat something so disgusting!" and i would say to you "nay. google it." that's right. 89,000 entries. we can't all be wrong, now can we?

needless to say, pete ate his all gone, loving every bite and the girl... well, first let me say the girl doesn't eat much of anything (as we've seen photographic proof of in this blog). but at least she picked out the pickles and ate them, which is a start. she's not completely lost.

now go and make yourself a tasty snack!



and a reminder to send good thoughts tomorrow at 3:30 MST. yes that's mountain standard time. AZ doesn't subscribe to this hokey "day light savings" business.

send good thoughts...

i have an interview tomorrow! i'm really, really tired of being unemployed, so i am hoping that this job comes through for me. it's with the southern arizona aids foundation which is a great cause to work for, don't you think?

so, i'm begging you please, keep your fingers crossed, say a prayer to whomever you believe in, eat a chip and think of me, but for god's sake, do something! i need all the help i can get!

happy happy and all that

yeah, it's my birthday. the last one i plan on ever having.

in honor of my birthday, (and also my mom, who, if you go to her blog, can't keep a secret) i am divulging my real name to the few of those who read this who don't know it.

it's la-fawn-duh. ha ha! i wish!

nope. it's valerie. i hope you don't feel betrayed and lied to. if you do, i'm sure you'll get over it soon. just let it pass.

and because my sis decided to try to get me back for posting a not-so-flattering picture of her on her birthday, i'll go one better than her and post my own not-so-flattering picture of myself here. because i can't be outdone.

and now you know why my kids are scared of me.

prepare to have your world turned upside down

so, i have this nifty little extension for firefox called StumbleUpon and by clicking a little button on the toolbar it takes me to random sites on the net. it's a pretty cool (by cool, i actually mean addicting) little button.

anywho, i was stumbling the other night and i came across this website where an octopus eats a shark. i know, mind blowing, isn't it?

the kids watched it with me and had to watch a second time just to make sure that they saw what they thought they saw.

awhile after it was over, i found the girl wandering around the room, mumbling to herself, "the octopus, the shark, he eat him. really? really? the octopus eat the shark? really?"

i'm sure many of you will have the same reaction.

my comment on this website is that discovery channel will now have to change "shark week" to "octopus week."

a child's imagination

i am constantly amazed at how my kids' imaginations work. pete is always making up stories or drawing crazy pictures. the girl loves to sing, so she's always humming something to herself, making up words as she goes.


this piece of artwork is one of pete's favorites and i tried to label it as best i could remember.

he's so fricking smart and cute! i know i'm just a gushing mom at this point, but i don't care. you don't like it, read another blog! :P



just kidding, please don't leave me. i like feeling somewhat popular to the few people who actually read this. and if you have anything you'd like to hear from me, just ask and i'll try to meet your requests.

i am enraged...

... and you should be too. i have always been a big fan of the excedrine migraine. i love it. when i have a headache, any headache, i take a couple of those and *wham-o* - headache's gone! love it! (imagine that in a sing-songy voice)

so i'm at the wally world the other day, and i'm looking at the excedrine migraine (because i ran out because the girl ate all of mine - don't ask, i'm not getting into that yet) and money's tight lately, so i'm comparing it to the generic, equate brand, which is non-migraine, but still excedrine-esque. so, i'm looking at the excedrine migraine, and i note that it contains 250 mg acetimenophen, 250 mg aspirin and 65 mg caffiene. remember that because that info will come in handy right now. i look at the equate excedrine and guess what dear friends? -exact. same. amount. of. everything.- so i look at the regular excedrine and guess what else? yup, you guessed it. exact same amount! i shit you not. we have been duped. all of us. i was thinking of starting a letter writing campaign to excedrine so we could all voice our disgust at their marketing ploy, but then i remembered that i'd have to write something and that's just too much like work.

moral of the story - i've done the research so you don't have to. just go with the equate. it's great. yes, equate is great. you can thank me later.

nudist colonies in utah

oh my god! i was just checking my stat counter and someone (sorry if this is you, but it's too funny, so i had to share) came to my site by searching for "nudist colonies in utah!" mine is one of the first 5 sites that comes up under that search! i don't use this term often, but ROFL!

i gotta be more careful what i write about.

it's sister's birthday!

30 years ago today, veryvaried was brought to life in virginia. she's beautiful (always been "the pretty one"), smart, generous, caring, loving, and everything else a girl could want in a sister. i love you lots heifer and i miss you.

so, help me out and stop by her blog and say "happy birthday old lady! you're still 13 months older than tina!"

pete's in school!

this post is late and awhile in the making. pete's been in school for two whole weeks now and i haven't even mentioned it. *sigh* i'm such a horrible mother. eh, i'll get over it.

would you just look at him?! he's so grown up! *flick a tear*


he's such a big boy, he rode the school bus all by himself. this is him at the bus stop.

of course, mom followed the bus to school to make sure the bus driver knew what he was doing and that pete would actually get off of it when it got to school. yes, i am an overprotective mother and proud of it.

this is him and his teacher in the background, just waiting for school to start. yes, i'm still there. separation is hard for me!

here's a nice picture of pete's teacher's bum, but that's not what i was taking a picture of! see my big boy sitting at his table in the background there? *sniff, sniff* he's so big.

i stayed there all day, just watching him through the window. the teacher had to ask me to leave a dozen times, so i just hid better. just kidding, i'm not that bad. i left (rather begrudgingly) after they stood and said the pledge. and i'm glad to report he made it home on the bus that day and has everyday since. but i won't tell you about the day i was a minute late to pick him up from the bus stop and i was severely chastised. ("mommy, you'd better never do that again!") the bus was early! leave me alone.

so now the girl and mommy have lots of time together. time spent eating excedrine migraine and calling poison control. i'll tell the rest of that story later.

the aunt who wouldn't die

let me preface this post by saying that i love my family, all of them, in one way or another. they are where we come from and they have all influenced me in one way or another.

i come from a long line of hicks and mountain men. literally. remember about 10 years ago when there was that mountain man stand off up in montana? yeah. i had a relative or two there.

anywho, i have a particular aunt - we'll call her aunt crackhead for the purposes of this post - who has, shall we say, made some bad choices in her life. as the chosen name would suggest, she's been addicted to drugs and alcohol for god knows how long, she's had a string of wifebeating husbands and boyfriends, and is morbidly obese. all of this has not been so good for her health. she is consistently on death's door and has actually been resuscitated a number of times. everyone is constantly in a dither, rushing to her aid or to stand vigil at her bedside to wait for her to die. for years.

i have heard many times "oh, poor aunt crackhead. what has she ever done to deserve this?"

ummmm... i'm gonna go out on a limb here and say it may have been the lifetime of destroying her body. i know, seems unlikely. call me kookie.

so, you've probably guessed that i am less than concerned about her health after years of crying wolf. she'll probably outlive the rest of us; she has enough chemicals and preservatives in her body to do it. that doesn't stop everyone else in the family from keeping me up to date on her latest illnesses. case in point, this weekend my mother told me about a recent phone conversation with aunt crackhead - "i would ask her questions and she wouldn't answer me for the longest time and when she did she was very slow and her speech was slurred. i'm so worried about her." this is the point where i keep myself from asking "isn't she dead yet?" because that's just insensitive. and i am anything but insensitive. just ask me. so, instead i ask what's being done to help her. then i get told a story about how my grandma bought a friend of aunt crackhead's a car so she could go out there daily and lend a helping hand. turns out this "friend" ran off with said car and hasn't been heard from again. go figure. the friend of a known druggy stole from her family.

with a gene pool like this, is it any wonder i'm so screwed up?




let me reiterate - i love my aunt. she is a good person who has been through a lot of hurt that i wouldn't wish on anyone. this is just how i deal with bad situations. i make light of them.

5 questions from jill

i got these questions from jillybeans. i asked her to write these questions for me (because i'm kind of at a loss. weird, huh?) and if you want to do the same activity, leave a comment and i'll write some torturous questions for you. then i'll post the questions and you let me know when you're done answering them on your blog. got it? ok, here goes.

1. I have a silly saying "You can't be blue if you wear pink." What silly saying do you live by?

"when you point one finger at me, you're pointing three back at yourself. and one at god. blame god." that's just a silly saying of course. i don't believe in god.

2. Celine Dion gives me hives, whose music do you have to turn off?

believe it or not, celine dion also. yucky, icky, no, no, wrong.

3. If you woke up one day and had a different life what would it look like?

on the bad side, if i had made different choices - i would most likely have a 9 year old child and be stuck in a loveless, abusive marriage with no way out because i never got an education and am dependent on my mean husband for support.
on the good side, if i was living a dream - i'd be skinny and beautiful, live in a nice house, have a good job and a good husband. just living the american dream.

4. Name 5 great things that make you TINA.

a. i'm mildly amusing
b. i can steer a car like it's nobody's business
c. i don't pick my nose and eat it
d. i try to be a good mom/person in general
e. i don't like cats

5. When you die who is the first person you want to see in heaven and why?

i'm never good with these "dead people" questions, but i'll give it a try. i'm sitting here trying to think of any of my dead relatives, but none pop out... then i think maybe a famous person, but i can't pin just one down. and what it comes down to is that i'd just like to meet a new person, to make a new friend. learn about their life experiences and share mine. is that silly? yeah, pretty much. but that's my answer, so deal.

the secret world of women

granted, i'm not the girliest girl you'll ever meet. i don't wear make up very much, i don't do my hair, i wear jeans and a t-shirt everyday. but there are female grooming habits that must be upheld by all women. here is a list of a few. this is not an exhaustive list, mind you, seeing as how i'm not all that girlie. maybe there's stuff out there i don't even know about.

1. facial hair

yes, women get it and we are as disgusted by it as you are. why do you think they make all those creams, bleaches and waxes? every single woman i've ever known has to deal with it. and not just a mustache either. nope, we get whiskers. usually just one or two, but they grow and we get rid of them! hopefully, anyway. there are some women who choose to ignore it and i'm hoping they'll read this. another instance of facial hair is the eyebrows. i have been plucking mine since i was 13. and a word to the men reading this, there is absolutely no shame in plucking your uni-brow. that's all i'll say.

2. toe hair

i know, it's something you guys don't think about, but we women do! when we have pretty painted toenails, the last thing we want is for you to be distracted by a forest of wild toe hair. so we shave it. maybe more ambitious women wax it, but personally, i shave.

3. *ahem* the bikini line

i really don't want to say anymore about this one because i had a recent experience with some wax and it still hurts me to think about it. but i will say that we do try to keep it neatly trimmed down there, not so much for aesthetics, but cleanliness. and i'm not going to get into "that time of the month". we all know that it happens and believe me, there's a good reason why we get so crabby, ok?

i think that's all i'll get into today. i may have crossed the line already. i realize it was all about hair because that's where most of my angst comes from. and i think lots of women would agree with me on that one. feel free to fill in anything i may have missed, girls.

monty python makes me giggle

Let's not bicker and argue about who killed who!


What Monty Python Character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

from sleeping in to a nudist colony in less than 1 minute

i thought it was time for another installment of my crazy thought processes...

last night as i was falling asleep, i found myself hoping i could sleep in in the morning. then i thought about my helpful young son and how he would most likely get breakfast for his sister and himself so mommy could sleep a little longer. then my thoughts moved to other mundane tasks of the day, like taking a shower. then i started wondering if my 5 year old son would be scarred for life because he had seen me naked when i was getting ready to get in the shower that day. then i thought, "hey, it's a natural thing. people at nudist colonies think there's nothing wrong with it." then i started thinking about nudist colonies and what it must be like to live there, especially for the women. like, how do they deal with "that time of the month"? i mean, they'd have to wear tampons, but then everyone would know because they'd have the visual evidence, right? so then maybe they wear underwear at that time. but even then, everyone would still know because why else would they be wearing underwear? and what about men? what if they see some hot, naked, female nudist? there really isn't any way to play hard to get, if you know what i mean. which reminds me of one of my favorite jokes:

how do you tell the blind guy at a nudist colony?



it's not hard!

get it? it's a double entendre! because it's not difficult to detect which man may be blind because his penis wouldn't be erect, assuming he would be aroused by all of the naked women around him! get it? isn't that funny?

i do act my age!

You Are 28 Years Old

28 Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

This Dog Is Mental!

i laughed SO hard at this. you guys had better laugh too.

crap

i done been tagged. so here goes...

What I was doing 10 years ago:
i had just quit my first job at taco hell and found a new job working in the sears hardware department. that was an awesome job, i had lots of fun and learned A LOT! i was going to be starting my second year of college and was living with my asshole boyfriend (the one who works at k-mart). around this time i got my first tattoo. i partied a lot. your typical 19 year old.

5 years ago:
in march i had my first baby and in may i graduated from college with a b.s. in biology. i was questioning my marriage and the integrity of my now ex-husband. i started working at my first real job where i met some lifelong friends (blair and cheech), learned a lot about myself and about what i want to do.

1 year ago:
about a year ago i decided it was time to get into the dating scene which was pretty nonexistent where i was living at the time (northern utah - imagine napoleon dynamite, without all the funny one-liners). about that time i was toying with the decision of moving home to arizona so there would at least be the possibility of having a life. now i'm here and i still have no life, but at least the possibility's still there!

yesterday:
i'm actually gonna go with the day before yesterday because that was more exciting. i had a job interview in tucson with a company that manufactures catheters. isn't that awesome? it would be a good job, so i'm keeping my fingers crossed.

5 snacks i enjoy:
chips and salsa (hot!)
beef jerkey
peanut butter and pickle sandwiches (don't knock it till you try it!)
popcorn
peanut butter m&m's

5 songs i know all the words to:
(i know all the words to almost all of the songs on my hard drive (over 2500 now), so i'll pick 5 of my fav's)
"stuart" by the dead milkmen
"stranded" by heart
"bring on the rain" by jo dee messina
"separate ways" by journey
"the scientist" by coldplay

5 things i would do with $100 million:
pay off all of my and my family's debts
buy a new house
invest money for my kids' future
give to charity (i'd have to research which ones to give to)
and ummm... go out to eat or something.

5 locations i would like to run away to:
bari, italy
fiji or some other tropical type place
alaska
new york city (just for awhile to see what it was like)
puget sound

5 bad habits i have:
smoking
chewing on my nails and cuticles
sleeping too much
talking before i think
over-spending

5 things i like doing:
playing with my babies
spending time with stinky
reading
stumbling (it's a firefox plugin that takes you to random sites on the net. it's addicting.)
people watching

5 things i would never wear:
shirts that show my belly
bikinis
ultra low rise waist jeans
mini skirts (especially not jean ones)
daisy dukes

5 tv shows i like:
judge judy
people's court
american idol
law and order svu
cold case files

5 biggest joys of the moment:
my kids
my friends' kids
my stinky
thunderstorms
the hope of a better life

5 favorite toys:
my computer
my star wars kid's meals toys (yes, i got them)
my lighter (it lights up and has a green flame!)
my car (subaru outback)
my son's legos

5 people i tag:
Krista
Sister
'stafari
cheech
stinky

(i know some of you don't have blogs, so this is your invitation to start!)

further evidence that i am a geek

ya know what one of my favorite stores is?

staples.

do you want to know why?

because i love office supplies. yes, you heard me right. there is nothing better to me than a cool new pen and a clean sheet of paper. when i was in college, i loved taking notes because there was nothing better than filling up a piece of paper with words and then switching to the next clean sheet.

also, the kookier the office supplies, the better. i have all sorts of colored, glittery, themed, or nostalgic pens and pencils. and when i'm at work, i surround myself with the stuff. i hardly ever get anything done because i'm always playing with my things.

case in point: today i went to wal-mart to simply pick up some pull-ups for my daughter (potty training is a blast!). and somehow i was inexplicably drawn to the office supply aisles. it makes me happy to just be there, looking at the mechanical pencils, post-it notes and sharpies (all 3 are examples of things i carry around in my purse... seriously). and, people, they make mini-sharpies now! isn't that awesome?!

i really need to start working soon so that i don't have to rely on the office supply aisles at wal-mart for my daily fix.

so what's with the name?

i've been using "issheinacoma" for the past couple of years now. it occurred to me when i heard the quote in my title. it was given in a movie - "high fidelity" - by one of my favorite actors, jack black. yeah, he's on my List. you know the List. the celebrities you're allowed to have sex with if they show up on your doorstep desperate for your superior lovemaking skills; even if you're in a committed, loving relationship. don't worry stinky, i won't tell them who's on your list. *giggle*

but, i digress. i think that quote is cute and funny in its own right, but there is, alas, a story behind it. you see, cheech and i used to joke about this quote and giggle. one time, we were having lunch with cheech's sister I'mCuteSoIDon'tHaveToBeSmart and we started giggling about this quote. not wanting to be left out, ICSIDHTBS started giggling too. she didn't quite understand what she was giggling along with, having not seen the movie, so she asked for an explanation. after telling her the background story (you know, the old guy asking for the record his daughter couldn't possibly like) she posed this intriguing question, "well, was she in a coma?" you can imagine the laughter that ensued.

like i've said before, i'm easily amused and have a small brain. it doesn't take much to set me off. and that's why i use that quote as my username. also, it's not usually taken... unlike brighteyes2005 or hugeknockers123.

your local mcdonald's will be the new milan

this is some crazy stuff! who cares what mcdonald's uniforms look like? they're just uniforms. it was said that micky d's is looking to update the uniforms so that their workers, who make about $6/hr, will feel inclined to wear their uniforms after work, for a night on the town. are they serious? i want to meet the marketing executive who thought this one up and punch them dead in the face. i am so tired of the asinine concepts those people come up with. you make hamburgers, crappy ones at that, and that's it. you don't dictate fashion or promote world peace. get over yourselves!

do you guys think that i'm taking this too far? i get so enraged about the silliest things.

i told you i'm not evil

and this proves it once and for all
How evil are you?

i'm calling you out, cheech

hehehehe...

hey cheech, remember that time where ol' what's-his-face and i were making fun of the notorious B.O.L.T.O.N. and we said how funny it would have been if when luke removed darth vader's helmet at the end of return of the jedi it had been michael bolton's face? and how i photoshopped a picture of bolton onto vader's face and how funny that was?

and remember how much you love rod stewart and everyone makes fun of you for it?

and remember how somebody stole your wilson phillips cd and no one would own up to it because they didn't want to admit that they liked wilson phillips too?

good times... good times...

p.s. you'd better post a comment to this one or my next blog is about the sheets on saturdays. don't test me. you know i'll do it.

irritating commercial

i don't watch a whole hell of a lot of tv. mostly disney channel and nickelodeon, but every once in awhile i reclaim the tv (see yesterday's post). and there is this insanely stupid commercial that comes on, so stupid i felt the need to share it.

it's for a local tech school - you know, the place where you can graduate class of march. and there's really nothing wrong with that! it's just a joke, so get over it. moving on... this commercial is filled with people doing X-TREME SPORTS! what in the halibut does that have to do with a certified nursing assistant program, i ask you? abso-freaking-lutely nothing! do people actually look at that commercial and think to themselves "X-TREME sports ROCK! i wanna be a certified nursing assistant!" if they do, then there's probably a reason they're going to the tech school.

that reminds me of an article maddox wrote and you can find it here. if you've never read maddox's stuff, make sure you read a few more articles while you're there. you can thank me later.

i love judge judy

reading my blog is like watching dashboard confessionals isn't it? yeah right. mine are a tad less raunchy than anything you'd see on that show. but whatever. you guys'll take what you can get, right?

anywho, i watch her almost everyday. is it her no-nonsense attitude or general bitchiness that attracts me to the show? no, not entirely, although i do appreciate a good bitch every once in awhile. i watch it because i enjoy the fact that i am not the people on that show. those people are so dumb. for instance, take a case that was on yesterday. the ex-wife was suing the ex-husband because he convinced her to move to NM and he would shortly follow her there. needless to say, he didn't. the thing that got me about that case was not the woman's overwhelming stupidity. it was the fact that the guy made $4100/month and only paid $94/month in child support for their 3 children. no, that was not a typo. $94 per MONTH! what kind of crazy shit is that?

*note to self: never EVER move to Colorado, get married and have children then get divorced because their system is wiggity whack!

growing up is hard to do

ok, i know i'm not that old, and i'm sure some of you reading this will think "this young pup doesn't know what she's talking about!" but sometimes i feel old and sometimes i feel like i just graduated high school, even though that was 11 years ago. damn.

yesterday i got to hang out with some old friends from high school/college. and isn't it funny how all the social barriers (i.e. cliques) that existed in high school go away after awhile, but it doesn't take much to make them come back up again? anyway, that's not what this blog is about.

so i was hanging out with my old friend from high school and college, and we were reminiscing, which is fun to do when you get together with old friends. like the time that we had a little maragrita party and decided in our drunken stupor that it was a good idea to drive home from college at 11:00 at night to kick some girl's ass, who i don't even remember her name. so, we make the 5 hour drive home, get pulled over in phoenix, sleep off our drunkenness at her house, decide it was a bad idea in the first place, and drive back to school. all in less than 24 hours. that was a fun night. or how we used to play monopoly and she always won and i was a sore loser.

and now i'm just old and would never consider driving anywhere at 11:00 at night and i hate monopoly to this day because i'm a spiteful bitch.

but, dang, we had fun.

i was never good at keeping resolutions

i know it's been a week. i got no excuses.

and i also realized i have said very little about "the boy" in relation to "the girl" so i decided to write a little post about him.

this is pete:

he is a silly boy; formerly known as "the boy." as in, going to work in the morning, a typical conversation with cheech may have begun with, "you'll never guess what 'the boy' did last night." but since he's grown up a bit, he's become mommy's little helper. like, when mommy won't get out of bed in the morning (i hate mornings, it's best not to speak to me when i'm just waking up (and i use that term loosely)) he makes himself and his sister cereal. isn't that sweet? my big helper!

recently, i was in one room and the kids in another when i heard a loud crash and "the girl" start crying. so i call to pete. he comes in the room and i ask what happened. he looked at me and he said, "well, see... it's involved..." i still have yet to find out what exactly happened that day.

then another day he came into me and said "mom, we need a 'laser'," complete with little finger ditto marks. (if i need to explain why that's funny, then just stop reading my blog now) he makes his mommy so proud!

now if only i could get him to stop trying to hide under my shirt when he meets new people...

this is what happens when i'm left alone for 3 days

k, so i was bored the past couple of days because my kids were with their dad. so i got this crappy 3D puzzle because i like star wars and i needed something to do. so, here, for your viewing pleasure, is the product of my boredom. a star wars ship thingy.

i am such a geek.

i so rock

dammit

i knew this would happen.

i drew a pig

there's a website that says if i simply draw a pig, they can tell me about my personality. i think they're full of shite.

i'm so glad i gave up on internet dating

or i may have resorted to one of these fellows.

hey fatty-boom-ba-laty

little tid bit about me - i love air supply. (do you still love me, stinky?)

my favoritest chi-chi took me to an air supply concert for my birthday last year and it was soooo fun! we took 2 of our friends and we had a blast sitting in the back and putting on our own little concert for our fellow lawn seat patrons.

since i dearly love air supply i had to have a t-shirt. so i go to the merchandise table and request a lovely white t-shirt that was imprinted with "i'm lost in love" (giggle), size large. the lady behind the table said the shirt displayed was size x-large and it looked like i would expect a large to look, so i said "ok, gimme the XL," to which the bitch behind the table said "are you sure? because i have 2-XL's back here too." yeah, i'll take a 2-XL with a side order of pimp-slap-the-hoe. look, i'm not fat, i'm just big-boned. so, just to spite her, i bought the XL, and ya know what? it fits just fine... so, fuck you stupid air-supply-t-shirt-selling-biotch.

yes, i am slightly obsessive compulsive

but only slightly!


ok, here's my deal. ya know how burger king has star wars toys in their kids meals right now? (if you have a five year old boy, you do) well, um... i need them. i have 5 out of a possible 31 and i am dying here! my set is not complete! and all will not be right with the world until such time as it is.


so, what am i doing today? watching eBay for auctions of the whole set.

it will be mine... oh yes... it will be mine.

as if i needed another reason to be online

so, my boyfriend told me about firefox. i've heard of it, never played with it because i fear change. so, this weekend i finally decided to download it and see what all of the hullabulla is about. oh my gosh. i LOVE it! i'm so addicted. it's way more fun than internet explorer. you can personalize it in so many ways. the past few days i've just been looking through the extensions and adding on. i'm like a kid in a candy shop and i've got a bit of a sugar high.

so, if you don't use firefox, get it. and if you do use it, tell me some cool stuff you've found so i can be cool too.

i am easily entertained...

while surfing the net, i came across this website
and immediately became engrossed.
what can i say? i'm obsessive compulsive and i like the little popping noises it makes. i have a small brain.

we just can't have nice things

i have yet another confession to make:

i am a sloppy eater. i can't get thru a meal without it ending up on my shirt or lap. i guess my mom never taught me to eat right. i like to believe that i have a hole in my bottom lip. i've yet to locate it though.

but i still buy white shirts... why? don't ask me! i like them, i think they look nice on me, and there's nothing classier than a crisp, white shirt. too bad mine don't remain white for very long due to my sloppy eating habits. eh, whatever. i'm a dork, we've already established this.

luckily for all of us, i have passed my sloppy eating techniques onto my daughter. i'll post a pic to demonstrate what i'm talking about. the girl will not just put fork to food and into mouth. she has to spread it all over her plate, the table and, most importantly, herself. *sigh*

i swear my mother cursed me when i was born that i would have a daughter just like myself. see, i was a 10 pound baby and so was my daughter. i used to laugh at my mother when she tried to punish me, and so does my daughter. golly, i'm looking forward to the teenage years... i have a feeling one of us will not survive.

that was a jello pudding snack... before it became conditioner.

the latest news

well, i'm probably not going to be able to start my job on monday because the clearance is still up in the air. i'm trying to not worry too much about it because i'm eating a hole in the lining of my stomach.

but in even bigger news... ummm... i'm in love. and i'm not going to talk about it anymore so that i don't jinx it. but it's great, and i'm super happy! i'll tell you guys about him someday, but for now he's all mine, and i'm not sharing.

this is how i clean

i know it's supposedly "bad" for them, but when i see a spot on a dvd or cd, i lick it and rub it off. they're my dvd's, i'll do what i want with them.

anyway, tonight, my kids put in "willy wonka and the chocolate factory" and it was skipping, so i took it out and inspected it for blemishes. there was a spot, so i licked it. yummy. glue...

so i post this as a reminder to myself... STOP LICKING SPOTS! YOU CAN'T CLEAN EVERYTHING WITH SALIVA!*

*except for contact lenses and children's faces

belated new years resolution

k, so i'm making a resolution in the middle of the year. i'm a big girl and i'll do what i want, so *nyah!*

i resolve to write in my online journal every day, no matter how i'm feeling. it helps me get stuff out and it needs to be done. besides, you all aren't just here to see how cute and witty i am, are you? i thought not.

fact is, i've been feeling pretty worthless lately (ho-hum, woe is me) and just haven't felt like writing much of anything. i even deleted an entry that hopefully only krista saw (thanks, sweetie, for your words of support, btw) because it was soooooo (yeah, with 6 o's! it was that bad.) horribly loathsome.

anyway, thank you malcolm for kicking my ass. i will try to be better; not because you all need it, but because i do.

and, no, i haven't heard anything about the security clearance yet. but i'm fine with it... just fine...

oops...

sorry, i know it's been like a week since i posted. i been trying to get a house, get stuff squared for my new job, etc. plus, i'm just having issues and i haven't felt like being my normal, witty, charming self. i try to reserve my depressed self for other avenues.

today i'm stressing because i have to obtain a government secret clearance (hence the statement "i'd have to kill myself")for my new job and i may not be able to because my finances are currently fucked, and apparently that's not really considered trustworthy. anywho, i have to wait a few days to find out if that's going through. and if it isn't approved, i will have no job. and if i have no job, i can't rightly get into my own house, what with no income.

so anyway, i'm in kinda a self-deprecating mood right now. my life is not completely in my control, i'm out of tequila, i didn't find a house to live in today, i may not actually have a job, and i was in band in high school! band i tell you! (save the "this one time, at band camp..." jokes. i've heard them all before!)

i have a dirty little secret

first, make sure no one's around... anybody looking over your shoulder? ok, good. now i'm trusting you with this secret. make sure you don't tell anyone. promise. ok, ready?


i like to read romance novels.

there i've said it. they say the first step is admitting you have a problem.
yeah, i know that's silly! that's why i said you can't tell anybody!
it's all chichi nini's fault. she bought me one a couple of years ago for christmas and since then i've been hooked. she tries to tell me that what she likes so much about them is the love story. yeah right. that's akin to guys saying they only read playboy for the articles. while the love stories are great, the sex scenes are hot. there are differences in sex scenes though, and there is such a thing as a bad sex scene. and if the story surrounding the sex isn't good, the sex won't be good either. and while most men's philosophy about women is "once you've seen one woman naked... you wanna see the rest of them" (hence reading playboy for the articles), this philosophy does not apply to romance novels for women. i take that back. it does apply to some women. but not me. i need me some good, well written romance.
i've been thinking i could totally write one of these books. i'm a girl, i know what i like and it can't be that far off from what other women like. but what i need to start with is a good title. like one of these.

if you have any ideas, feel free to let me know. when my book is on the best seller list, i'll be sure to give you credit.

*sigh*

read no further if you have not yet seen American Idol tonight and do not wish to know the results.


ALL THOSE COUNTRY HICKS OUT THERE WHO VOTED FOR STUPID CARRIE UNDERWOOD CAN GO TO HELL!

i'm better now, thank you.

my one consolation is that my Bo will still make music and i will still buy it. -er- download it illegally from the internet. whatever.

in other less important news - i got a job today! yahoo for me! i'm so excited to have adult contact and intellectual stimulation. not that you all aren't stimulating...

anyway, don't ask me what my job is because if i told you, i'd have to kill myself.

so, what's it to ya?

i LOVE American Idol. yeah, yeah, i know. it's the best show ever. (that is what you were thinking, wasn't it?) and do you know why i love AI? two small words for you - BO BICE! i want to marry him and have 10,000 of his babies. he's so danged cute i could just pinch his cheeks! -on his face- get yer minds out of the gutter, people!

i mean, we just have so many things in common:

he's on American Idol... i watch American Idol...

he has long brown hair... i have long brown hair...

he likes music... i like music...

he likes to sing... i like to listen to him sing...

the list could go on and on, but i'm sure you get my point. the moral of this story is that i will be spending the rest of my night dialing 1-866-IDOLS-01, 03, or 05. you should to. do it. now!

just wondering...

does this blog make me look fat?

you have no soul if...

you don't absolutely love the following prose:

She Walks In Beauty
She walks in beauty, like the night

Of cloudless climes and starry skies;

And all that's best of dark and bright

Meet in her aspect and her eyes:

Thus mellow'd to that tender light

Which heaven to gaudy day denies.

One shade more, one ray less,

Had half impair'd the nameless grace

Which waves in every raven tress,

Or softly lightens o'er her face;

Where thoughts serenely sweet express

How pure, how dear their dwelling place.

And on that cheek, and o'er that brow

So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,

The smiles that win, the tints that glow,

But tell of days in goodness spent,

A mind at peace with all below,

A heart whose love is innocent!

Lord Byron (1788-1824)

i stumbled on this poem tonight while surfing the net and i was reminded how much i always loved it.

also:

Separate Lives

You called me from the room in your hotel

all full of romance for someone that you met

and telling me how sorry you were

leaving so soon, and that you miss me sometimes

when you're alone in your room

Do I feel lonely to?

You have no right to ask me how I feel

You have no right to speak to me so kind

I can't go on, just holding on to times

now that we're living separate lives

Well I have learned, to let you go

and if you've lost your love for me

will you never let it show, oh no

there was no way to compromise

so now we're living separate lives

Ooh, so typical, love leads to isolation

so you build that wall,

yes you build that wall

and you make it stronger

Well you have no right to ask me how I feel

You have no right to speak to me so kind

Someday I might find myself looking in your eyes

But for now we'll go on living separate lives

Yes for now we'll go on living separate lives

-Phil Collins

ok, so it's not exactly classical and a far cry from Byron, but it is lyrical. i love that song. whenever i hear it i have to stop what i'm doing and sing along. oops. hang on a minute... ... ... *sigh* i love that song. i also love:

Faithfully

Highway run
Into the midnight sun
Wheels go 'round and 'round
You're on my mind
Restless hearts
Sleep alone tonight
Sendin' all my love
Along the wire
They say that the road ain't no place to start a family
Right down the line it's been you and me
And lovin' a music man ain't always what it's supposed to be
Oh girl, you stand by me
I'm forever yours
Faithfully
Circus life
Under the big top world
We all need the clowns
To make us smile
Through space and time
Always another show
Wondering where I am
Lost without you
And being apart ain't easy on this love affair
Two strangers learn to fall in love again
I get the joy of rediscovering you
Oh girl, you stand by me
I'm forever yours
Faithfully
Whoa, whoa, faithfully
I'm forever yours
Ever yours
Faithfully

- Steve Perry (Journey)

it's sad how much i love soft rock music now. it's definitely a far cry from Rage Against the Machine (still can't beat "Killing in the Name of" when you're really pissed) or Nine Inch Nails ("Something I Can Never Have" is so great to listen to in the dark). do you think that when Journey first made their music, they thought it'd end up on the Adult Contemporary music stations?

i started going through my music and realized there's just no way i can hit it all here. just know that i love almost all kinds of music but my all time favorite song is:

Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want

Good times for a change

See, the luck I've had

Can make a good man

Turn bad

So please please please

Let me, let me, let me

Let me get what I want

This time

Haven't had a dream in a long time

See, the life I've had

Can make a good man bad

So for once in my life

Let me get what I want

Lord knows, it would be the first time

Lord knows, it would be the first time

- Steven Morrissey (The Smiths)

he's just not that into you

i read the book of that title and it was actually pretty funny. i'm not usually into so-called "self-help" books (as in, i avoid them like i avoid actual relationships) but this was fun and a tiny bit liberating. written by two of the writers on sex in the city (a show i've never watched but i hear it's about sex and a city), it takes many of the issues women pine over and the excuses men make for them and boils it down to "he's just not that into you." i recommend it to both women and men. to women because it explains some of the reasons men don't call (just not that into you) or won't commit (once again), etc., and to men so you know what you may be up against.
unfortunately, they never address what one should do when he is that into you and you really, really don't want him to be. luckily, i haven't talked to tim since i asked him to bugger off. not for his lack of trying. apparently "this isn't going to work" was heard as "i love you, too! let's be together forever!"

anywho, check the book out from your local library. it's a quick read.

the exorcist

today i'm having split pea and ham soup for lunch. whenever i eat that i obviously think of the exorcist when the little girl spews that soup and her head flips around. then i think about my friend who has a name very close to linda blair's but she's nothing like the girl in the movie (although her daughter's head has been known to spin around on occassion ;) ). then i wonder what my friend's doing right now. i assume she's reading this because she has nothing better to do at work. then i think about how much i miss work and how i left there to come here and haven't found a job yet. and then i think about how i'm just sitting here in my pj's, mooching off my parents and eating split pea and ham soup.

this is how i think. it's sad how my mind just constantly wanders. if only modern science could somehow harness the energy i expel thinking and worrying about stupid stuff (like why lindsay lohan looks like shit), there would be a renewable, ozone-depleting-chemical-free, energy source. maybe i should put my brain power to working on that little project. eh. that sounds too much like work.

the infamous "nail polish incident"

this is what i get for leaving my "ruby slippers" colored nail polish within reach of a 2 year old. if you look closely, you can see it also covering the bed in the background.
but doesn't she look purdy?


the "nail polish incident"

blog fodder part two or the king of cling

thanks to my best friend for that title. i was telling him more of the story of last night and he insisted that i add this stuff to the blog because it's too good not to share. either that or he likes to watch me make a complete fool of myself. like face licking isn't enough!

anyway, here are a few points i failed to mention in the first posting.

1. at one point, when i asked tim (that's his real name, btw) to stop lookin' at me, he actually, factually turned around and sat upside down on his couch, as in head where the feet should be. huh? don't ask me why. my little kitty brain cannot possibly comprehend the inner workings of this guy's mind.

2. he blew a raspberry on my stomach. you know the things you do to little kids to make them giggle hysterically? yeah, doesn't have the same effect on grown women. who knew?

3. ummm... how shall i put this? i couldn't feel his penis. granted, i never reached out and tried to touch it, but usually if a man is sufficiently turned on, you can tell. am i right? so either a) he was not turned on (impossibility seeing as how i'm hot) (not) (but really, if he's that into me, he's gonna get turned on when we're making out) b) he taped it to the inside of his leg to avoid any embarrassing brushes or c) it was very small or nonexistent. any of those cases will hold up in a court of law that the man is mental.

4. he spoke in this odd, modified british accent. i knew it was an accent because i've heard his normal voice. i have no idea why he did it! once again, can't comprehend, don't want to.

5. he would kiss my nose. like in the middle of kissing my mouth, he'd reach up and kiss my nose. was that supposed to be cute?

anyway, for those of you that face licking and premature confessions of love wasn't enough, here is further proof that the guy was, is and always will be, a weirdo.

blog fodder

*sigh* i was hoping against hope that the guy i went on a date with would not have to end up here with the others, but i was wrong. horribly horribly wrong. wrong, wrong, wrong.

so, he im's me from yahoo personals. he was very intelligent and sweet. i'm thinking "score! a quality individual!" so when he asked me out for the next evening, i promptly accepted. i wasn't disappointed when i saw him. he was cute BUT he was shorter than me. i'm 5'9", he said he was the same. one of us lied and it wasn't me. anyway, not a huge deal. we eat dinner and he hardly touches his. partly because it was what i ordered and decided i didn't like it when it got to the table so he switched with me (points for niceness). but the other part of it is that he would not stop gazing upon me. that's right. this wasn't a look-someone-in-the-eye-when-you're-talking-to-them. this was an outright gaze. made me hella uncomfortable. but also flattering. so i dealt with it. things progressed, i ended up taking him home (he doesn't drive, whole different blog that one) and we made out for awhile. it was ok, but that's probably because i had two tequila sunrises at dinner and i was jonesing for some make out. the bad thing was, he licked my face. you heard me, licked my face. ew. i was wearing makeup and everything! it wasn't too awfully bad, so i still kiss him. we won't even get into the fact that i flat out put his hand on my breast and he moved it. WTF! so, i leave without getting hardly any action. i'm thinking to myself "eh, we'll see where it goes."

i talked to him a couple of times over the weekend. wasn't too bad. he's a writer so he used lots of big, flowery words about how he thinks i'm amazing and wonderful. i just said "yeah, you're neato" feeling like a complete dumbass. then yesterday we're talking and... he tells me he loves me. WHAT!? yes, he's in love with me. and he knows this without even knowing my last name. holy jesus mary and joseph. so, i'm a nice girl, so i try to talk him out of it. i told him that he couldn't possibly know that, seeing as how he doesn't know me. and, at this point, i could obviously not reciprocate his feelings. he says "OK, i'll slow down" but actually doesn't. i feel, for my own piece of mind that i should see him at least one more time to see where this may or may not lead.

so, i went over to his house tonight. my dearest friends, the man is a grade-a, FREAK! he would not stop staring at me. no matter how many times i asked him to cease and desist, he continued. i think he thought i was being cute and self conscious. little did he know he was creeping me out! so, i have to kiss him to make him stop looking at me. it was worse today than the other day. he did the licking of the face again and added a tongue flicky thing to his repertoire. ew. i have never been so anxious for a movie to be over in my entire life. as soon as it ended, i tried to make my graceful, yet quick exit. oh, he was not having that. i tried to give him a peck and leave. nope. he licked my lips and shoved his tongue down my throat. i cut it off as best i could without biting his tongue (besides, he may have liked that) and barely make it out of his parking lot without busting up laughing.

now i need your help kids. how do i let him down nicely without hurting his feel-bads? but also let him know that i must never, under any circumstances, see him again? i'm usually on the receiving end, so i need some advice on this one.

and i have to say: WHY ME?!?! why do the loonies track me down? why can't i find a normal guy to spend some time with? WAH! *end self pitying rant*

i've still got it

k, so you've already heard me bitch about old guys. just know that my seductive appeal to the retired sector has not waned in the weeks since that post. in fact it's happening now more than before. maybe my friend larry has e-mailed all his buddies and told them that i'm a nice piece of cyber-ass.

well, now I'm getting solicited by much younger men. i got a wink on match.com from an 18 year old kid a few days ago and a 20 year old yesterday. they are definitely cute boys, the operative word there being "boys". what is it with me and guys my own age? am i not appealing to fellow 28 year olds? what's so wrong with dating people your own age? and i'm not really looking for someone exactly 28 years old. but anywhere from 25-34 should be acceptable, don't you think?

actually, i can't continue to complain too much because i did have a date last week with a guy my age... (the first date since my divorce, mind you) i will decide later if i want to fill you in on the details. i will just say... um... i don't know. and that's all.

i just wanted to pass along some words of dating wisdom given to me by chichi nini's husband, dirty:

you can't argue politics with a man who doesn't know what a burrito is.

think about it.

happy mommy's day!

my son's mother's day song to me:

happy mother's day to you
you live in a zoo
you look like a monkey
and you smell like one too.

moments like that make it all worth it, ya know?

don't you hate when...

you leave your kids alone for 15 minutes so you can take a shower and the boy gets into the glue and spreads it all over the counter trying to make a book out of loose leaf notebook paper AND the girl pulls down all the laundry you meticulously folded so she can get to her favorite cinderelly (2 year old speak for "pretty dress")?

yeah, i hate that too.

yeah, yeah. i know.

ok, so i reviewed my previous posts and i've realized what most of you have already figured out. i am a bonafide man hater. without really knowing it. well, i did kinda know it, but i guess i mean i don't really want to come off that way. i like men. hell, i love men! i'd just like to find a good one. and the hopeless romantic in me believes that there's one out there for me. but then i also tend to be a pessimist, and that's when i come off as a man hater. plus, it's not really funny to hear about how i still hold out hope for that someone to come into my life (well, maybe it is kinda funny in a sadistic, watching a train crash, way).

also, i realize that it may come off that i am content in my loser-dom when, in fact, i am not! I am working hard to find a job and change my current situation. i have a wonderful support system of friends and family. poking fun at myself is my way of pushing myself to get going and make some changes. i really am not the kind of person to sit back and let life happen to me. that's part of the reason that i'm in the situation i'm in now. i left a good job, a home i owned and great friends (i miss you guys!) to try and make a better and more stable life for my kids and i. i know, seems silly to leave stability to gain instability, but there's lots of background and it really does make sense when you know it all.

so i just wanted to clear up that 1) i am not a man hater and 2) i really am not a lazy ass loser.

thanks for listening. now i'll get back to my usual inane drivel about how horrible my life is.