Friday, March 09, 2007

now accepting donations for psychotherapy

we've already established that as part of Y-ME, i have decided to start eating more healthy foods, right? ok then, moving on. unfortunately, i am not the only eater in my house. my children have not taken so well to there being no mac and cheese, white bread, real sugar or candy in the house. pete, who was always my good eater, refuses to eat about 75% of what i put in front of him. that is so frustrating for mothers, as other mothers who may be reading this can attest to. frustrating to the point that you want to do something... anything to make the children eat this food.


case in point - this weekend pete wanted a tuna fish sandwich. i took this as an opportunity to make a delicious salmon burger made with pimentos and lemon and dill and topped with lettuce and tomatoes and sounds super tasty, am i right? wrong-o. pete would not eat the sandwich, no matter what i said:

"you can have a treat when you're done if you just eat half of it"
and "be mommy's good boy and eat"

which didn't work and led to "youwillnevereatagainaslongasyouliveunderthisroofif
youdonoteatthatsandwich!"


ending with the inevitable "STARVING CHILDREN IN AFRICA WOULD LOVE TO EAT THAT SANDWICH!!!"

allow me to segue. lucky for everyone i have the internet. the internet is such a powerful tool for communicating, researching, discovering new and interesting things and the lesser known but
nonetheless powerful tool of scaring the living bejeebus out of your children with pictures of starving children in africa.

you can probably guess that i didn't end up making him eat his salmon burger. i was too busy consoling him from the trauma i inflicted when i showed him this picture:



and this picture:



so, you are welcome to make those donations which will go toward the future psychotherapy my poor dear children will quite obviously need. a lot of.

did i mention that the girl saw the same pictures, looked at me, shrugged, and walked away? yeah.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Um, yeah, you know how I don't like to judge? Well, I just don't think it was polite to ask people to send donations to your children's psychotherapy sessions (although it is entirely clear that they will need it) after showing those pictures. I think the classy thing to do after showing those pictures is to ask people to donate money for food for the actual starving children in Africa. I mean, if you hadn't shown the pictures I would be completely on your side, but after seeing them it made me want to give those kids a sandwich (but not that gross salmon burger you described - I agree with Pete.) So while I usually agree with you, I think you missed the mark with this one. I eagerly await your next post so I may again play judge and jury. In the immortal words of the little guy in Tetris World in dual mode, "You need to do better."

Valerie said...

i don't know any children in africa o i couldn't possibly solicit any donations on their behalf. i do, however, know my children and their mother and i am more than willing to solicit donations on their behalf.
omigosh! is that a kitty?!

Anonymous said...

A. The kitty cartoon is just ridiculous and untrue. And it is crudely drawn. That guy should be embarrassed. Sophie agrees too.

B. I am slightly tempted to send a donation, but how can I be sure that it will go to the psychotherapy fund and not used to by random items that bring you extreme joy, i.e., a plastic chicken that "poops" M&Ms?