Thursday, January 25, 2007

the stall conversation

i think it's pretty safe to say that everyone has been faced with this awkward situation. you run into an acquaintance/coworker on your way into using the restroom and this person starts a conversation, one you are sure will not finish up before you get into the stall. to me there is nothing more embarrassing than, 1) knowing someone is peeing not 3 feet from where you're peeing, b) they don't mind talking to you while you're peeing and third) they don't mind listening to you pee while you talk!

ew.

this happened to me the other day. i ran into a coworker on the way into the restroom and she started a conversation about god knows what. i've blocked most of the memory from my mind. i'm sitting there, getting my number 1 on, and she continues this conversation. i can't not answer her questions. she knows i'm there, for god's sake, she can hear me peeing!

ever since i was in elementary school, i can remember having a phobia about public bathrooms; not their cleanliness, but the fact that other people were in there peeing and they knew you were in there peeing too. i remember very clearly sitting there, knowing a bunch of other 9 year old girls were sitting there on their respective toilets and not hearing a single. splash. not a drip, splatter, trickle, or dribble. not a thing. i was so self-conscious that i was the only one who made a sound that i would do the "pee-pause". i'd let go for a second then pause, pee and pause, trying to aim for random noises that might mask the sound of my urination. for the longest time that was completely normal for me and i did it without thinking. hell, i still do it. in the privacy of my own home. of course, i have no problem with using the potty in front of anyone close to me, but coworkers and strangers? fuggitaboudit.

so unless you are a best friend, sister, child, or significant other, and you see someone on the way to the water closet, keep the conversation short! and
, please, for the love of all things good and holy, SHUT UP WHEN YOU GET TO THE STALL!

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Eeeeewww! that's just gross. thanks for the tips. i'll be sure to keep it in mind whenever i'm going in to pee!

Anonymous said...

Ya know what else sucks? When you walk into the bathroom and there is someone else in there already and you don't know who it is. This happened to me today and I wanted to walk out but I was sure that the other person heard me and I thought it would be more rude to just walk out. So I go in my stall and try to pretend that everything is normal. Except that I experienced my usual "performance anxiety" with someone else in there and nothing would come out, even though I had to pee super bad. So I sit there thinking, "Just pee, just pee." I get super paranoid that the other person is wondering what the hell I am doing. Thankfully I was able to get with the flow (pun intended) and the other chick finished up and left, leaving me to exit the stall and wash up solo. Awesome.

Unknown said...

Too funny! That used to happen to me all the time. Except I think it is worse when other women talk on their cell phones while going. It's like can the person on the other line hear me tinkling? Anywho...I put some wedding and engagement pictures up. Oh and how did you get your music on your blog? I need some!! lol

Unknown said...

Duh! I guess if I would have looked below I would have saw the video. Sorry!

Anonymous said...

That's why I always use the "onzies" I just really don't want to experience what is going on in the stall next to me, especially at work.
(I'm not really anonymous, I think you know who this is) ;)

Valerie said...

well, i would use the onesie bathroom too if you weren't always in there!

Anonymous said...

Ohhh snap.