blog fodder

*sigh* i was hoping against hope that the guy i went on a date with would not have to end up here with the others, but i was wrong. horribly horribly wrong. wrong, wrong, wrong.

so, he im's me from yahoo personals. he was very intelligent and sweet. i'm thinking "score! a quality individual!" so when he asked me out for the next evening, i promptly accepted. i wasn't disappointed when i saw him. he was cute BUT he was shorter than me. i'm 5'9", he said he was the same. one of us lied and it wasn't me. anyway, not a huge deal. we eat dinner and he hardly touches his. partly because it was what i ordered and decided i didn't like it when it got to the table so he switched with me (points for niceness). but the other part of it is that he would not stop gazing upon me. that's right. this wasn't a look-someone-in-the-eye-when-you're-talking-to-them. this was an outright gaze. made me hella uncomfortable. but also flattering. so i dealt with it. things progressed, i ended up taking him home (he doesn't drive, whole different blog that one) and we made out for awhile. it was ok, but that's probably because i had two tequila sunrises at dinner and i was jonesing for some make out. the bad thing was, he licked my face. you heard me, licked my face. ew. i was wearing makeup and everything! it wasn't too awfully bad, so i still kiss him. we won't even get into the fact that i flat out put his hand on my breast and he moved it. WTF! so, i leave without getting hardly any action. i'm thinking to myself "eh, we'll see where it goes."

i talked to him a couple of times over the weekend. wasn't too bad. he's a writer so he used lots of big, flowery words about how he thinks i'm amazing and wonderful. i just said "yeah, you're neato" feeling like a complete dumbass. then yesterday we're talking and... he tells me he loves me. WHAT!? yes, he's in love with me. and he knows this without even knowing my last name. holy jesus mary and joseph. so, i'm a nice girl, so i try to talk him out of it. i told him that he couldn't possibly know that, seeing as how he doesn't know me. and, at this point, i could obviously not reciprocate his feelings. he says "OK, i'll slow down" but actually doesn't. i feel, for my own piece of mind that i should see him at least one more time to see where this may or may not lead.

so, i went over to his house tonight. my dearest friends, the man is a grade-a, FREAK! he would not stop staring at me. no matter how many times i asked him to cease and desist, he continued. i think he thought i was being cute and self conscious. little did he know he was creeping me out! so, i have to kiss him to make him stop looking at me. it was worse today than the other day. he did the licking of the face again and added a tongue flicky thing to his repertoire. ew. i have never been so anxious for a movie to be over in my entire life. as soon as it ended, i tried to make my graceful, yet quick exit. oh, he was not having that. i tried to give him a peck and leave. nope. he licked my lips and shoved his tongue down my throat. i cut it off as best i could without biting his tongue (besides, he may have liked that) and barely make it out of his parking lot without busting up laughing.

now i need your help kids. how do i let him down nicely without hurting his feel-bads? but also let him know that i must never, under any circumstances, see him again? i'm usually on the receiving end, so i need some advice on this one.

and i have to say: WHY ME?!?! why do the loonies track me down? why can't i find a normal guy to spend some time with? WAH! *end self pitying rant*