brief diversion

i would like to get into the overall quality of profiles and matches i've experienced at the various sites. first of all, the vast majority of these boys need to go back to sophomore english and learn to spell. either that or learn to use spell check. maybe i'm completely off base and just a grammar nerd, but i personally think it reflects poorly on a person when they can't spell "bored" eg. "yesterday, i was bored but today i am not". you would not believe how many guys spell it "board" eg. "yesterday, i was board but today i am table". then there's the difference between "there", "their", and "they're" and closely followed by "your" and "you're". just a few examples of the crap i read. if i was your 10th grade english teacher, you all would have failed.
second of all, the content of all profiles is generally the same. most "just want a woman they can spoil" and love to "spend time outdoors". both of those phrases send me into dry heaves. if the first statement were actually true, someone would have snatched you up a long time ago, leaving you no reason to look for love on the internet. and if the second were true, there would be far fewer big screen tv sales, so spare me.
so i guess my ideal profile to read would go something like "i know how it looks that i'm using a dating service, but i don't really care. i like large women who are marginally attractive and have a good sense of humor. i don't always pick up after myself and occassionally drink too much. i think kids are fine as long as they're somone else's and i don't have to clean up after them. i love fast food and watching any kind of sports (yes, poker is a sport. it's on espn, isn't it?). don't try to change me. if my mother didn't succeed, neither will you. you will sometimes be not good enough for me and i will lie, so just accept it." i mean, at least that would be honest. i'd probably even want to talk to someone who wrote that. and try to change him and get really pissed when he lied to me. i'm a woman. it's what i do.