LOL

let it be known from this point forward that i hate random LOL's. i mean, are you really laughing out loud as you tell me that you've just eaten dinner? was it an extra special hilarious dinner with naked clowns and adam sandler? i seriously doubt it. do us all a favor and tone it down. please.
my next disaster comes in the form of someone we'll call "shawn". shawn is an LOL'er. you know what shawn does for a living? he's a substitute short bus driver. that's almost as bad as having to ride the short bus himself. maybe that's why he LOL's so much...
anyway, shawn wants to be in a relationship really bad (said in the whiniest voice imaginable. think 5 year old who wants a popsicle). he's 25 and has been ready to settle down since high school. first person who says "needy" wins my respect.
ok, one would think this alone would be enough to cut my losses and walk away. but, no. i am compelled to continue talking with this need ridden 25 year old. i told him my favorite movie is "the princess bride". he said he didn't like the movie because he doesn't like princesses... what?!? has he seen the movie? apparently not, because i wouldn't really classify it as a "princess movie" with the likes of "the princess diaries" or "cinderella". and yet i must still talk to him...
so, one day, shawn and i are chatting online. i ask what he did that weekend, making polite conversation. he told me that he reffed a wrestling match. i see the perfect opportunity to get a real LOL out of this guy. i ask him "were there any piledrivers?" hehehe, right? boy did he set me straight. apparently it wasn't "that kind of wrestling". oh. right. because i thought in peewee wrestling they allowed the likes of figure fours and sleeper holds. thank you shawn for fixing me up.
at this point i officially ended communication with shawn because neediness is acceptable, but lack of sense of humor? hit the road.